turns Cobbled Stones into Red Carpet

The new papa-to-be decided that a sport utility vehicle is necessary for mama and mj. He had eyes only for a particular one in the market though. The new BMW X3. *hahah* No000, not the BMX 3! He braved sleepless nights on it for as long as we were pregnant. To buy or not to buy. Even when I said no, he never ceased thinking about it. He did not even dare head into the showroom for a test-drive in case it urged him further (with no excuses) to put a deposit on the joy ride.

Eventually, what edged him to the showroom? Eben asked if he wanted to sell his Audi A4 and Ben had to tempt Meyer with his newly-bought X3 over Chinese New Year! Eben's question reminded him that his current ride is valuing at a delightful high and if he waited any further, the value will only plummet when the A4 gets a facelift this year. Ben Ben Ben, he had to purchase it and put it right into Meyer's face on the second day of Chinese New Year. While we parked at a relative's home, my husband's first words were, "Basket! Who bought my dream car!"

So, the question now is, "Do we pump in the money for a liability?" or "Should we be investing this sum of money for the future?"

Sorry man. The seduction of this liability is too much for him to handle. He succumbed to the dark side. We put the deposit down today and decided on a white body with nevada leather in oyster (as shown).

Joy makes Dreams Come True

Joy wants You To Have It All

Bring Joy Home Now

Joy Begins Here

Joy Is Everything At Once

BMW made Joy their slogan and they have it everywhere in their showroom, brochure and website. The word has cheerful vibes to it and it was a very smart move. It actually made shopping euphoric minus the horrible services when we walked in without an appointment. 

The design, technology and efficiency topped the hubby's list while comfort and space topped mine. It will be easy to bring mj out in the future (on my own) because the pram will fit right into the boot without having to fold it. Pop and Go. There is also a huge sun roof to entertain mj from the passing clouds instead of Barney & Friends! Oh Thank Goodness for that! But most of all, the humps and bumps on the roads are no longer an issue for the current sensitive pregnant me. 

An Intriguing Experience

I dream every night but the most fascinating one happened two nights ago.

It was dusk and I just alighted a bus. I walked towards my destination to meet Meyer when I met with a gang of three at the second traffic light. The girl said, "Let's rob her". She tried 'enlisting' a passer-by into their criminal act against me but *phew* this pedestrian refused and assisted me across the street.

When we reached the pavement on the other side, the threesome jumped on him and starting thrashing the daylights out of him. Poor guy. I was not spared ... I was assaulted with mj in my tummy. All I could care for at that moment was mj and I knew instinctively that I need to protect my baby.

With both courage and fear, I shielded my bulging belly from them.

How did I wake from my dream?

Just like mj knew what was happening, I was kicked on my right 5 times. All fast and strong. Gosh! Never had I experienced such furious kicks before. Was I beaten up by mj or was mj protecting me from the mob?

It is thought-provoking isn't it? Did mj feel my emotions for fear and pain? Did mj see the scenes in my head? Intriguing indeed.

For her, For me.

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around ‘til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never ever end
How I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah yeah..
Then finally make me do just what my moma said
Later that night when i want to sleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear how mama cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I’m praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don’t do it usually
But dear Lord she’s dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

Miracle

When I say this baby is a miracle, no one can really comprehend the significance of my deliverance. Unfortunately, I cannot find a better word to describe mj's existence. I am filled with sentiments as I write, thinking about how far life has come.

I got married at twenty-five because I wanted a family. Meyer and I tossed baby names in our daydreams since nineteen. I wanted four while he would say, "stop at two". When we got married and continued with our travels (and indulgences), he realized that he is not ready for a baby. We were young and our lives should be celebrated right now. The sheltered belief of enjoying life at retirement is not applicable anymore especially when we saw how my mum's cancer wrecked her golden years (and ours). We want to enjoy today like it was the last and that drew upon our current lifestyle. Saving for retirement is critical and so while luxuriating, we still must have the far-fetched future in mind.

People always think that life events will fall in place. I, too, felt that EVERYTHING in my life will fall in place. We will play, study, work, date, get married, have children, grow old and die peacefully. What a dream huh.

That is when we decided to keep protected for a year. A year passed and we were relishing in our marriage; without the duty of being parents. Meyer was loving his life so much, he thought it might be a good idea being childless! Wow! Sports Cars! Travels! Private Home! All the money for our own merriment! His wife wanted a baby though so he okay-ed. But Stop At One! *haha* "They are money suckers!" he would say. We didn't know then that One may be all we can ever wish for.

We were so sure a child will come our way since we lifted our 'ban'. 2008 ... 2009 ... 2010 ... 2011 ... with every 365 days, we were still childless. My husband's philosophy of life was becoming true while I sunk into the deep. We sought help from Chinese and Western medical practices. It did not help when my mum's dying wish was to have a grandchild. Gosh was I pressured with everything going on in my life.


2009

- Mother stressing for a grandchild

- Gynecologist says let nature takes its course

- Gynecologist finally being convinced to check on Meyer

- Results: Not Good

- Gynecologist did not check on me

- Requested for IUI

- Husband disagreed 

- Went TCM: I am too 'cold' while Meyer's too 'hot' 

- Quit job

2010

- Mother had cancer relapse

- Full-body check up suggested I had possibilities of ovarian cancer

- Start school
- Volunteer

- Mother stressing for a grandchild

- Saw the Chinese doctor every week for daily dosage of medication

- Gave up

- Got stressed by in laws, not for conceiving but to be the 'mother' of their second son's new-born because every one needs to work (except me cause all I do is to go to school, volunteer and care for my ailing mother)

- I was assigned to bath, feed, play, clean the baby when he was born

- I was assumed the task of planning the baby's first month party

- I was pulled into the discussion of how their two dogs are to disappear in their lives because the baby is more important
- Oh Piss Off. Seriously affected.

- Saw a fertility doctor

- Him: little live sperms 

- Her: (1) endometriosis, (2) right side of reproductive system not functioning at all, (3) womb not conditioned for baby, (4) uterus not in correct position, (5) vaginal entry not straight, (6) has a perpetual virus in body

- I need an operation to condition my reproductive system for conceiving

- Meyer says if God wants it this way, don't go against nature. He is not for assisted insemination or any operation that risked my health.

- Fertility doctor said even if I managed to conceive (miraculously), the whole pregnancy will be high-risk. My body will naturally expel the baby through contractions.

- "By the way", she added "due to the position of your womb, you can't get fertilized because his sperms will never reach your egg. There is only but one way. Your position of love-making needs to change."

2011

- Spent every week day in the hospital as mother's condition took a turn for the worse

- Father's never around

- Could not handle my anger and sadness on my own anymore

- Could not go for school examinations because mother was very sick

- Turned to counselling

- In June, Mother passed away

- In July, went to Australia for a holiday

- In August, returned to work

- In September, a miracle happened

miracle |ˈmirikəl|nouna surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency

Meyer's ability to fertilize is dropped by half because of his condition. While my ability to produce an egg for fertilization is dropped by three-quats because I have only my left side to depend on plus all the other reproductive issues. The most likely way for us to have a baby is to be assisted. So how did this precious gift end up on our laps when we weren't even trying?

We are so lucky to be bestowed upon this tiny miracle who is kicking me now. It is not explainable by natural or scientific laws. My gynecologist's (the fertility doctor) first words was, "this is a miracle". The stars are watching over me.

She went through our visits with,

"this baby is so strong"
"the heartbeat is so prominent"
"it is a fighter"

I went through miserable days, forgetting to count our blessings. I felt sick, useless, unloved, pain and everything that screamed negativity. The uneventful happenings stalked me every day and I was mournful, despondent, forlorn...

I am back on the road now, slowly but surely. Hearing that mj is fighting for his/her life makes me work doubly hard to ensure that he/she is safe in me.

19W5D Today!

Nothing says Je t'aime like a Ring from Cartier

The LOVE Collection was created in the glamourous 70s, worn as a timeless token of affection. We have always been enchanted by the leopards in Cartier's print ads. Whether it was mummy's time for the limelight or pup's crowning moment, the photographs never backfire. Along with the classic scarlet red pop-up box, it shouts "Own Me". In fact, we would rather own the baby leopard. Look at her! I so want to snuggle her up in bed!

My husband wanted to buy jewellery and he was bent on getting something. We strolled down Tiffany's and fell in love with their Sapphire Celebration Ring, a full circle of brilliant diamonds and sapphires. Alas, there was no good match for the husband's masculine finger. Men with sapphires ... how odd.

With nothing for the husband at Tiffany's, we went on to Bvlgari. He set his eyes on B.zero1. It looked really good on him, especially with pink gold. But, what about the madame? I can't fit a B.zero1 on my already short and plump fingers? My left hand looked like the Longnecks of The Karen tribe! So, no ... I wouldn't want to buy a Bvlgari either.

I wanted something meaningful since this will be our fifth year anniversary and LOVE should be the motivation behind today's purchase. Our little one will be born on our fifth year and meaningful milestones such as this should be decently accounted for. So, I said, "Cartier baby?"

Meyer took a careful step, "Cartier? It is out of our league!"

May implored, "Just to have a look to see how far behind we are from Cartier?"

We walked into Cartier and came out with a pair of pink golds ninety minutes later. Meyer found it very stressful because he just wanted to buy any ring that fitted his finger and any that suited mine. However, I really would prefer something that complements one another. Our problem arose when we could not get the correct sizes! Those huge chunky ones he liked, I did not. Those thin ones I liked, he did not. I was so ready to leave without a purchase but he insisted that they have to be bought. Poor James serving us ran everywhere trying to satisfy the wife's demands. Eventually, we found a pair of LOVE rings. His is chunkier than the one below while mine comes inset with a stone. Technically, his ring comes intertwined with two rings that can be swivelled. So, we have gotten ourselves three rings instead. A papa, a mama and a baby for a twenty twelve celebration.

His

Hers

Wonder how much they sell the leopard for? The fuzzy one *smiles*

a Holiday luncheon

It is here! First of January Twenty Twelve has arrived and I'm all ready for an adventurous journey. Most definitely, the intimate luncheon today with our closest friends kicked start the year with a punch. I was grinning with excitement the whole morning. I felt healthy and kept all fainting spells locked up in my vintage chest.

Alas, all my enthusiasm were crushed when I arrived at Salt Grill with my floor plan in a mess. No, I am supposed to be seated here and Meyer's supposed to be seated there. Why are there cutleries on the child seat placements? Where are the baby chairs? Why are the appetizers and desserts on the menu all wrong? Why is there GST and Service Charge printed at the bottom of my menus? Oh gosh ...

Frowning, we had only thirty minutes to straighten things up. In the meantime, we had to re-arrange the whole seating plan because a dear friend couldn't make it to the luncheon. I had to take charge like I always do. I was back to WORK!

Oh dearie me, I cannot do it. I flustered because my pregnant brain can't work! I could not even make simple swaps to the floor plan to accommodate one less person. Meyer had to assure me that he can handle it but I am an experienced event planner! How can I not be on the floor? I had to move this chair and clear that cutlery, make sure the beverages are ready for arrival and replying dozen excited SMSes. I gave up. I sat there, upset. Not with the restaurant because I know how things can get screwed up at work especially when they had a New Year's Eve party the night before. I was disturbed by my incapabilities. What happened right?

So, I decided. The same thing I told every client when I ran their events, just enjoy. And I had a good time. The restaurant had all questions directed to Meyer. "When shall we start?", "Where are the guests with special menus seated?", etc. Thank goodness one of us brought our brain out with us. I must have locked my brain up with my spells in the vintage chest by mistake.

All's done in Meyer's efficient coordination. We gave the restaurant the go-ahead and had our friends sent up to the fifty-fifth story of Ion Orchard. My professional photographer friend is not here yet *hhahah* so Meyer stood in for the time-being *smiles*

The Setup 

Cheers on Arrival

Buddy Pris and May

Receiving Presents! 

With Shy and Nicholas and Their Very Thoughtful Gift

The Zhongs and Professional Photographer have Arrived! 

More Arrivals!

This Table is Filled

Who Didn't Write Me a Note Ah?

It was a very lovely afternoon. I do hope everyone had as much fun as I did. I turn Thirty today. Having mj, Meyer and you dear friends make Thirty a bliss to turn into. Who minds the age, wrinkles and bulge when I have two heartbeats going concurrently!

I very much needed the support you have all given me. I was stuck, lost and absolutely miserable. I had too many Whys and What Ifs swimming in my head from the beginning. Everything was dark and gloomy. I got out of it because of every one of you. mj, for one, was sent to us for a reason and I now see the light. Brighter than before.

Happy Twenty Twelve!